A month ago today, Tuesday, October 12, 2021, was probably the lowest point of my life. There I sat on the floor, in the Taco Bell bathroom, crying. For the first time in a long time, I had a real mental breakdown. For the first time in a long time, I cried at work. In fact, I don’t recall it ever being that bad at my old Taco Bell, Stater Bros, or my job on campus. The last time I had a mental breakdown this bad, I was on my mission.
I had just finished a 3 hour shift (long story) and finished talking to my boss. He blamed me for a ton of stuff and it broke me down. For 10 minutes, I sat on the floor crying. I sat there hating my job, my boss, and life in general. This anger built up. And everything caught up to me. But, this story isn’t about me breaking down at work. This story is about how I bounced back and jumped right up to not let this ruin my life.
I realized I couldn’t stay there forever and cry. So, I got up and went home. On my way home, I sent a message to a former coworker wanting to vent and she was extremely supportive. I got home and my friends were all extremely supportive. But, that night, I realized I needed to do a lot to get my mental health back on track.
First things first, I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to quit my job. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but my family, my friends, my peers, my roommates, and most importantly, myself, all agreed that it needed to happen. I was blind to the fact that this job had been hurting my mental health for over a month now. I wanted to give a 2 week notice, however, that didn’t happen and I quit without notice.
I was both stressed and relieved. A heavy burden on my back was suddenly lifted, but it didn’t feel right. How could a job that made me get 3 hours of sleep, work during class, and make me have mental breakdowns, be so hard to quit? I guess since it was something I loved. I loved my coworkers, I loved the work, I loved the customers, and honestly my manager wasn’t all that bad. But, the universe/the spirit was pulling me away and telling me to leave. And I know I made the right decision.
I was supposed to work Sunday, but quit Saturday. I knew somehow I’d be blessed for keeping the Sabbath day holy.
What do I do now? I’m unemployed, I have a trip to New York. I have to pay for school and groceries. I needed an income. Well, job hunting it was. I applied for 10 or so jobs. And gratefully, I got a call. Costa Vida. One of my favorite places to eat. And I got the job.
And let me tell you, once I got hired and started. My mental health began to get better. It wasn’t 100% better. I started getting 8 hours of sleep, the atmosphere was 10,000x more positive and I was just so grateful to be around so many amazing people. That contributed, but it obviously wasn’t the only thing.
Social media. In the past, I could be mean and rude and negative on social media, but I decided to change that. I started to post more positive things. I decided to stop arguing pointless things on social media. I stopped posting negative things on social media. I started posting uplifting things. One day, I posted, “you, yes you, person reading my story… remember you’re amazing and you are loved.” I had a couple people reply back positively. But the one who stood out was a friend going through stuff who said, “thank you. I really needed that.” At that moment, I realized who I wanted to be. I wanted to be the person who says positive things. I wanted to uplift others. I wanted people to say, “wow, Michael’s post really brightened my day.” I realized the impact I could make.
And now, I make it my goal to post almost every day and make sure it’s positive. I want people to come on my social media and see something positive. Even if it’s the only positive thing they see or hear all day. One small post can make one heck of a big impact.
From there, I made it my goal to just smile more. I decided to make everything out of my mouth be positive. I stopped complaining and it’s made one huge difference. I used to go to my friends apartments and just complain, now I am always smiling and talking about how happy I am. I remind them that they’re amazing and that I want them to have an amazing day. And I truly believe it makes me more enjoyable to be around.
And now a month later, I’m sitting next to a creek in Rexburg, Idaho. I’m enjoying the weather and the fresh air. I’m just waiting to go into work. But, most importantly, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I couldn’t be more grateful for life and the people around me. I love my friends. I love my job. I love my family. I love my classes. And that’s all that truly matters. And most importantly, I’m going to New York in March.
I want everyone to know, that no matter where they are in life, I hope you have a beautiful day. I hope someone goes out of their way to do something nice. I hope YOU go out and make someone’s day. That’s all I want. I want everyone to look for the good in life and then make another persons day better. Make the world a happier place.
Life is wonderful. Life is strong. Life is amazing. Life is beautiful.
