Reflect

 I tend to do a lot reflecting, in case y'all haven't noticed. And maybe reflecting isn't the proper word. Reflecting I feel requires a lot of looking back AND think about what happened and sort of analyze it. I more so reminisce a lot and that reminiscing is followed by some reflection. 

Hence, here we are. A beautiful Sunday afternoon, writing a blogpost in Porter Park. I'm sitting at a table, almost directly across from Kainoa's. I can't help but stop and look around me. There's a church building adjacent to me. Straight across is another young man, reading something on his phone. I see a family with their young daughter and a dog, a memory that I hope I can someday have for myself. I see friends laying in hammocks and friends playing spike ball. I see cars driving by, going to various places. 

As I look around at all these people. Each individual creating their own memories of (hopefully) joy and happiness. The family that will forever remember the beautiful Sunday they spent at the park with their daughter and dog. The friends who will remember the afternoon spent playing spike ball or laying in their hammocks. And now it makes me stop and reflect on the many memories I have made this year.

Thank goodness for my constant posting on my story and for Instagram archives because I know a year ago today, I was running on the BYU Idaho track. Around this time last year, I had decided to start exercising again, which did not last long. I regret not sticking with it. I miss it and had a ton of fun.

I think about and reflect on the time I got hired at Costa Vida. I had just left a toxic job and was scared to open a new chapter in my life. I didn't know what life had in store for me. But, reflecting on it. I am forever grateful that German gave me a chance. I am forever grateful that he decided to hire me. Working at Costa Vida has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. I have created wonderful bonds with my coworkers and we have created many memories together. We laugh and joke around together at work. It's an environment I could have only ever dreamed about having at Taco Bell. As I reach my year mark of working there, I am reminded every day of how blessed I am and how the Lord was looking out for me. 

I continue to look back at my Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. My parents came up for both and we just created so many wonderful memories with my family. Onesies, snowball fights, dinner, hikes, movies, and much more. I am reminded that I have a wonderful family and think about how much I cherish them. My countless vacations with them and road trips and I just couldn't be more grateful. 

As I look back on this past year, I have to stop and think about my trip to Florida. I reflect on the joys I had with my parents. It was one of the best vacations ever. I got to spend a week with my parents and enjoy my time with them. I reflect on how grateful I am to have them as my parents. I am grateful for the laughs we shared and the memories we made. I was originally supposed to go to New York by myself. I am so happy that I instead went and spent quality time with my parents.

Once the new semester started, I was nervous. I was moving to a new complex and didn't want to make friends all over again. Thankfully, I met so many new people at my complex and continued to stay friends with my old friends. I am so happy that I was able to make new friends. I ended up meeting so many people that I still see occasionally and I am blessed for having such a great ward and roommates. I think about how it was a great semester and so many memories were made.

I struggled with making close friends and these past few months has brought 3 close friends into my life.

I met Jess while working at Costa Vida. She was a new employee and after my desperate attempts to find someone to go see Dr. Strange with me, she reluctantly volunteered. She quickly became a good friend and one that I could go to for anything. We went on walks at 1 am and talked about life. We would go on drives and just sit and talk. She became a friend that I didn't know I needed. And I am grateful for all the time I have been able to spend with her. She's been a great friend and one that I can go to for everything. 

Before I get onto my next list of friends, I need to discuss my second trip. I reflect on my short trip from just a few weeks ago and how much fun it was. I went to Disneyland, Knott's, Seaworld, Seattle and Portland. I loved this trip. It was much needed. I was able to spend some more time with my parents and create memories with them. I will cherish the time I had with them. I am grateful for being able to see two more musicals and spend a day with my cousin and her family in Portland. I just can't imagine anyone better to spend my time with than family. I ended up thoroughly enjoying this vacation and I'm so grateful I decided to follow through and do this.

As summer began, I was nervous I would have no one to hang out. No one that I was super close with was staying and I was scared to have a boring summer. That's when Mikaela and Becca come into play. Becca has been my coworker since I started working at Costa Vida, but we never really talked. Mikaela and Becca (who were already best friends) came into work a few times, while I was working and we all became friends. And I can't express how much this friendship means to me. It's exactly what I needed this summer. It has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. We had a blast at the drive in. The three of us spent 6 hours together swimming, eating, shopping and baking cookies. At the end of that evening, we were all just sitting there in silence, but it made me happy to be in the presence of friends and it made me feel good about myself. Since then, sadly Mikaela has left us for school and Becca has been stuck hanging out with me, but I'm grateful for the bond we have created. I can actually say confidently that I enjoy summer and the memories I've made because of them. The laughs we've shared, the pictures taken, and the smiles created. This summer has been one of the BEST summers I've had in a while because I became friends with them. Reflecting back on the few weeks it's been, I know it's definitely been a tender mercy in my life and was not an accident that I met them.

As I continue looking back, I can't help but just continue to think of the small things. I went to a Big Time Rush concert last week and had a blast. I think it was amazing to see my childhood band perform and that I was able to spend the day with friends. 

As I have reflected on these various events and people who have entered my life, I think about how it has made me a better person. I have become a stronger person and everyone in my life has always been there to uplift me and build me up. My reflection takes me several different places and I am able to ponder on what a wonderful life I have filled with so many amazing people. Most importantly, I think about many of the blessings in my life would not have happened if I didn't get hired at Costa Vida when I did and didn't have such an amazing job there.

Always try and reflect on your life and the blessings in it. Think about those who have contributed to your life. Think about those who have made a positive impact. Think about the events that changed you for the better or made you stronger. I promise that you'll find more to life when you ponder and reflect. Enjoy the moment and when you're struggling, look back at all the good in life and what it has brought you. You won't be disappointed when you strive to look for the positive.

You never know how happy it might make you to reflect and reminisce. 

The Savior Will Carry You

 There's a poem which reads:

One night I dreamed a dream.

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of may life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you

Never, ever, during your trials and testings.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then THAT I CARRIED YOU."

I've heard that poem many times, but now two Sunday's in a row I have either heard this poem at church or seen it on social media and it has motivated me to create this blogpost. This poem is inspiring and beautiful. And I feel the need to share my thoughts on it.

I have encountered this many times throughout my life. The many struggles I have faced and trials I've gone through, whether public or private, where I felt the Lord abandoned me. Times where I was sure He wasn't real. Times where I was positive He left and didn't care for me. This past year especially, there were multiple times I felt lost, confused and hopeless. 

I look back on this year and I see those footprints. I see the positives. I see my happy times. I see the good memories made. Within the past year, I remember the snowball fight I had with my family. The trip I took to Florida with my parents and going to a waterpark with them. The time I got hired at Costa Vida. The walks I went on with a friend. The time spent in Portland with my cousin and her kids. The dates I've been on. My science class in the spring. My roommates. And I see two footprints. The Lord was walking with me during all those times. I can only imagine the countless times He smiled at me as He saw the joy I was having. After all, that's all He wants. He wants us to make good choices and be happy.

However, I look back at memories and look at the times that I only saw one set of footprints. The darkest times. The times where I felt hopeless and useless. I see the times I cried for hours. I see the times I sat praying and hoping for an answer. I see the time I sat on the floor of the Taco Bell bathroom crying for 5 minutes. I see my encounters with the rough roommate I had last fall and winter. I see the rejections. I see the time I was told I may not be able to continue teaching. I see the time where my family went through the roughest trial of our life, not knowing what was ahead of us. And again, I see one set of footprints.

Many of these instances, I recall crying and feeling pain. I agonized over many of these instances and wept, just wondering where the help was. I spent countless hours venting and talking to my friends and family. And spent a lot of time seeking help from the Lord. Help that I thought wasn't there. Help that I thought would never come. Help that I thought abandoned me. 

Seeing that one set of footprints makes me wonder why I would have to do this alone. Makes me stop and think why the Lord would abandon me. Makes me question if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there. Makes me question my worth. Through all my praying and pleading for help from God, was His answer, "You don't matter my child"? 

Then I remember that I never truly was alone during those times. As I sit and think, those times where there was only one set of footprints, were easier than they should have been. They weren't as difficult as I thought they were in the moment. And most importantly, as I look back at those times, the greatest blessings of my life came from those and I came out a better person in EVERY SINGLE one of those instances. 

I sit and think about the time I spent agonizing over whether or not I should quit Taco Bell. I think about it and realize that as soon as I broke down on the floor of the bathroom, the Lord picked me up and carried me. He gave me the strength to quit. He gave me the strength to move on to better things. He had been by my side the whole entire time and once He realized I couldn't handle it anymore, He lifted me up. He carried me until He knew I was stable enough to walk on my own again and knew that I could handle things. He carried me through those times.

When my family was going through a hard time, He carried me, He carried every single one of my family members, until He knew we were safe. He did this until we had the strength to keep moving forward. He didn't abandon us, He held us up and walked us through it. 

The Lord knows when we are too weak to walk by ourselves. He knows when life just throws too much at us and we need to rest. He knows when we need Him. He knows. 

I love that during our darkest times, we can be reminded that we are not alone. When we only see one set of footprints, that doesn't mean we were abandoned or forgotten. That means the Lord sensed that we were struggling and sensed that we needed His help. Without any hesitation, He is there to pick us up and carry us to safety. He will carry us before we even ask Him to carry us. He will lift us up and make sure we are not left alone. 

In life, when you feel you have reached the darkest of times. When you feel like the Savior has left you on the side of the road, or has left you at the grocery store, remember He is carrying you. He is taking upon Himself the trial. He is saving you from the hardest part of the trial. He knows and understands what you faced and He knows it will get worse. To prevent you from having to suffer the worst part of the trial, He has decided it's most important to pick you up and face the trial Himself. And for that I am forever grateful.

This past year has turned me into a stronger person. I honestly can't express how different I am. I am happier. I am more positive. I love life. I love those in my life. And I love my Savior more and more everyday. I know that there won't be two sets of footprints all the time. For all I know, the Savior may need to carry me again tomorrow. And that's ok. If the Savior needs to carry me for a whole week, I know He is more than willing to do so. And I will look at that single set of footprints and smile. I will smile knowing that I was being carried by the Savior during that time.

When you are struggling and when you feel lost, hopeless, confused, angry, useless, and you feel like giving up, always remember THE SAVIOR WILL CARRY YOU.

Life is beautiful - the happiest I’ve ever been

 A month ago today, Tuesday, October 12, 2021, was probably the lowest point of my life. There I sat on the floor, in the Taco Bell bathroom, crying. For the first time in a long time, I had a real mental breakdown. For the first time in a long time, I cried at work. In fact, I don’t recall it ever being that bad at my old Taco Bell, Stater Bros, or my job on campus. The last time I had a mental breakdown this bad, I was on my mission.

I had just finished a 3 hour shift (long story) and finished talking to my boss. He blamed me for a ton of stuff and it broke me down. For 10 minutes, I sat on the floor crying. I sat there hating my job, my boss, and life in general. This anger built up. And everything caught up to me. But, this story isn’t about me breaking down at work. This story is about how I bounced back and jumped right up to not let this ruin my life. 

I realized I couldn’t stay there forever and cry. So, I got up and went home. On my way home, I sent a message to a former coworker wanting to vent and she was extremely supportive. I got home and my friends were all extremely supportive. But, that night, I realized I needed to do a lot to get my mental health back on track. 

First things first, I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to quit my job. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but my family, my friends, my peers, my roommates, and most importantly, myself, all agreed that it needed to happen. I was blind to the fact that this job had been hurting my mental health for over a month now. I wanted to give a 2 week notice, however, that didn’t happen and I quit without notice.

I was both stressed and relieved. A heavy burden on my back was suddenly lifted, but it didn’t feel right. How could a job that made me get 3 hours of sleep, work during class, and make me have mental breakdowns, be so hard to quit? I guess since it was something I loved. I loved my coworkers, I loved the work, I loved the customers, and honestly my manager wasn’t all that bad. But, the universe/the spirit was pulling me away and telling me to leave. And I know I made the right decision.

I was supposed to work Sunday, but quit Saturday. I knew somehow I’d be blessed for keeping the Sabbath day holy.

What do I do now? I’m unemployed, I have a trip to New York. I have to pay for school and groceries. I needed an income. Well, job hunting it was. I applied for 10 or so jobs. And gratefully, I got a call. Costa Vida. One of my favorite places to eat. And I got the job.

And let me tell you, once I got hired and started. My mental health began to get better. It wasn’t 100% better. I started getting 8 hours of sleep, the atmosphere was 10,000x more positive and I was just so grateful to be around so many amazing people. That contributed, but it obviously wasn’t the only thing.

Social media. In the past, I could be mean and rude and negative on social media, but I decided to change that. I started to post more positive things. I decided to stop arguing pointless things on social media. I stopped posting negative things on social media. I started posting uplifting things. One day, I posted, “you, yes you, person reading my story… remember you’re amazing and you are loved.” I had a couple people reply back positively. But the one who stood out was a friend going through stuff who said, “thank you. I really needed that.” At that moment, I realized who I wanted to be. I wanted to be the person who says positive things. I wanted to uplift others. I wanted people to say, “wow, Michael’s post really brightened my day.” I realized the impact I could make. 

And now, I make it my goal to post almost every day and make sure it’s positive. I want people to come on my social media and see something positive. Even if it’s the only positive thing they see or hear all day. One small post can make one heck of a big impact. 

From there, I made it my goal to just smile more. I decided to make everything out of my mouth be positive. I stopped complaining and it’s made one huge difference. I used to go to my friends apartments and just complain, now I am always smiling and talking about how happy I am. I remind them that they’re amazing and that I want them to have an amazing day. And I truly believe it makes me more enjoyable to be around. 

And now a month later, I’m sitting next to a creek in Rexburg, Idaho. I’m enjoying the weather and the fresh air. I’m just waiting to go into work. But, most importantly, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I couldn’t be more grateful for life and the people around me. I love my friends. I love my job. I love my family. I love my classes. And that’s all that truly matters. And most importantly, I’m going to New York in March. 

I want everyone to know, that no matter where they are in life, I hope you have a beautiful day. I hope someone goes out of their way to do something nice. I hope YOU go out and make someone’s day. That’s all I want. I want everyone to look for the good in life and then make another persons day better. Make the world a happier place.

Life is wonderful. Life is strong. Life is amazing. Life is beautiful. 

Worst Birthday Ever

Alright, before I dive into this, no, this is not clickbait. My birthday was quite possibly the worst birthday ever. But, hang in there and hear me out. This email isn't going to be me complaining and venting the whole time, but I feel there is value and importance in showing that not every birthday is going to be amazing and it's ok to have a bad birthday. Also, I'll be semi-vulnerable in this post, as you guys know I usually am.

11:59 pm, Sunday, September 26, 2021. One minute until my birthday. I sit and wait for the clock to hit midnight. The seconds go by and finally it's here. September 27, 2021, 23 years since I was born.

"Wahoo!!! It's my birthday!" I exclaim. My roommates begin to sing happy birthday. I'm so excited. I go to sleep around 1. I wake up in the morning and get a ride with my classmate down to Rigby for my practicum in the elementary school. The students are amazing. They sing me happy birthday and we have a blast. The rest of the day is amazing. A friend offered to buy me lunch at the Crossroads, we sit and chat the whole time as we discuss how excited I am for the next year. We don't get around to talking about too much, since I have class in half an hour. I race off to class. After class, I go home. I work on homework, however, I'm constantly bombarded with friends coming over to see me and say happy birthday.

Around 6 pm, my roommates and my FHE sisters go out to dinner. Since its FHE and my birthday, we figured we'd celebrate. Man, what an amazing dinner we had. Amazing food with some amazing company. I couldn't have asked for a better night. We head home around 8 and get back to the apartment. A few friends decided to bake a cake and sing happy birthday. My brother and sister come over and hang out. I fall asleep around midnight, reflecting on what a wonderful day it's been and I couldn't be more grateful for the best birthday ever... wait a second, that doesn't seem right... let's rewind.

11:59 pm, Sunday, September 26, 2021. One minute until my birthday. I'm standing there, waiting for the clock to hit midnight. Suddenly, it's here. September 27, 2021, another birthday has arrived.

"Wahoo!! It's my birthday!" I exclaim. However, my excitement is short lived.

"Hi, welcome to Taco Bell. What can I get for you today?" I ask. Oh, yeah, I started my birthday off by working. I had already been working for six hours and I was supposedly only working for another 2 hours... we'll see. 

One hour until closing. For the next hour, I took orders, made drinks, and passed out food. It wasn't all that bad, though. My brother was cashing out in the back window and would tell people to wish me a happy birthday, so that was actually really good. In addition, my friends Kaylee, Sierra, and Hannah stopped by, my friend Eli, and then my coworker Evie, stopped by. So, I can't 100% say, that hour sucked. Which is why, I'm extremely grateful for those friends. 

The hour passes and we're closed. One hour until my shift ends (haha... yeah, about that). There is so much to do and it's my birthday. The last thing I want to do to start off my birthday is to close the restaurant, but I had no choice. 

It sucked. First thing: clean the grills. I had barely been trained on this, so it was an experiment to clean the grills. I still don't think they were fully cleaned, but oh well. Second: back line. This absolutely sucks. It takes forever because it takes a ton of scrubbing, especially because meat gets onto the line and it's there all day and it's super hard to scrub off. I take the next 45 minutes to scrub ONE LINE. JUST ONE. 

Fast forward to 1:50 and I break. I've been frustrated. It's 2 am on my birthday. I have to be up again in 5 hours and I'm struggling. I lean up against the tortillas, slide to the floor and cry. It's my birthday and I'm crying. A giant mental breakdown because it was just too much. Maybe it was the lack of midnight birthday texts, maybe it was the fact that I was working, maybe it was the fact that it felt like I was never going to get out of work and I would be there until 5 am. Whatever the cause, I was tired and exhausted and wanted to go home. It was probably all three accumulated and probably more things going on that my mind just couldn't handle. But, here I am sitting on the kitchen floor of Taco Bell at 2 am, crying. 

I knew I couldn't spend all night crying, so I got back up, frustrated at the universe and cleaned. I didn't get off work until 3:30 am. I walk home with my brother, shower, and go to bed (or take a 3 hour nap. whatever you would like to call it).

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! It's 7 am. 3 hours of sleep. Ugh! I don't want to be awake, but I'm actually excited for my first class. I get to go to the elementary school and hang out with students. It'll be blast. And it was. They didn't sing happy birthday, but that was my fault as I didn't tell the class it was my birthday until most left for recess. 

I attend my second class. I continually dose off as I have only had 3 hours of sleep. It sucks. I came to school to learn, but instead I'm sleeping because of a terrible work schedule. However, it once again wasn't all that bad. Two girls in my class, Parker and Syrena, I usually partner up with them for group assignments. We had fun. We talked and I mentioned it was my birthday. Syrena said she would bring me a cake on Wednesday and come visit me at work that night.

I leave class and head to get lunch. Apollos Grill. I order a gyros. Amazing as usual and I have a wonderful conversation with someone in the class I just got out of. Time soon runs out and we both leave for studying and class. I head to the Hinckley building for class. I ran into my old trainer on the way up to the Hinckley. Once again, I dozed off multiple times and missed some content. Thankfully my teacher was understanding as I explained the situation. 

Class gets out. Finally, I can go home and relax for the rest of the evening. I can get some homework done, hang out with friends, go to dinner. It'll be great. Well, I went home and took a nap, did some homework, visited with a couple of friends. But, then I had to get ready for work. To be fair, I didn't call off my birthday because I requested Saturday off and didn't want to request my actual birthday off. I didn't expect it to be super terrible though. 

I arrive and immediately I'm put on prep. Frying food, grabbing lettuce, making sauce bottles, all the boring stuff. Half an hour in, and my roommates and FHE sisters show up. I expected it, so it wasn't unplanned. I was happy they decided to visit me at work. I only had a couple of minutes to chat and then when they left, we got a selfie. My shift continues and then Ally, Kaitlyn, Kyra, Rachel, and Robert showed up and said hi. They are all amazing people and I was grateful for that. My night continues and someone dropped off Sonic, we think it was for me. Later on, another mission trainer, Rockhard Waters showed up. My friends Maia and Eli came. I ran into some old friends. A family friend, the Waldrons, showed up and brought cupcakes. My sister came and brought a ton of balloons and cupcakes. That was a blessing. Oh, and Syrena, she showed up and with her roommates and brought me a slice of cake.

The last 3ish hours of work, I was on drive thru. I was able to pass out orders and then take orders. I had a blast. I also convinced quite a few people to take a survey and mention my name, so I can get a bonus. By the end of the night, we had four done, although there should have been more done. 

The clock hits midnight. It's over. I'm 23. I don't know what to do from here on out. Life is still taking me places and it's still quite the adventure.

However, it was interesting how this day turned out to not be what I expected it to be. And that's ok. Yes, it wasn't a fun birthday. Yes, it may have been the worst birthday. But hey, one of my birthdays has to be the worst. Well, maybe the birthday I spent in detention in middle school, might have been the worst. But, this hits close. 

We can't expect everything to go our way. We know life won't always go our way. We need to embrace the idea of unexpectedness. Embrace the thought of things not going your way. Embrace the failures. Embrace the bad days because in the end, things will get better. Things will improve. And eventually, things will be good. 

So, while I did have the worst birthday ever, in a sense, it was the best birthday ever because of the many lessons I learned and the love I felt from those who wished me a happy birthday and did things for me. I couldn't have been more grateful for the love and support I felt on my birthday. The blessings still outweighed the trials of my birthday. And I definitely did feel the love and support.

Thank you all for your love and support. It continues to mean the most to me and I appreciate it. 

ONE YEAR LATER (Part one)

I had been waiting for this moment. I stood atop the stairs, waiting nervously. I looked to my left and the temple square sisters were busy studying. I looked to my right and Elder Marrott was stood at the top of the stairs. I was the last in line. Elder Hollingsworth, Elder Rangus, and Elder Shaw stood in front of me. Below me, I could hear the chatter of 40 young elders and another 40 people. I experienced 17 or so of these before. And each time, I had been at the bottom, waiting for the elders to come downstairs, finally it was my time.

The day started off great as I said goodbye to my companion of 3 months, Elder Showgren. I knew I would miss him a ton. We had a rocky companionship, but it ended on a high note. Elder Shaw and I were companions for the day. That brought back memories, considering he trained me and we spent two months together. We first stopped at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building to turn in our stuff and take pictures with President Fenn. We had our exit interviews, had lunch with everyone and then finished off by being released on our own. We spent the rest of the day visiting missionaries, packing and walking around Temple Square and City Creek.

But, as I stood at the top of the stairs, none of that mattered. A plethora of things fluttered through my mind. This gave me the opportunity to reflect on the last two years. We never thought I would survive the whole time. But, because of a mission president who believed in repentance and the atonement, I left when the Lord wanted me to leave. 

As I continued to stand atop those stairs, I looked towards the future. I was anxious for what the future would hold. I was going back to "normal" life. I was understandably nervous. I had spent the past two years living a completely abnormal life. Mission life is unique and is hard. I spent two years with a companion, on a strict schedule, following all these rules, and living a hard life. I had planned on going straight to college, finding a girl, and living life. But, life took a sudden turn.

In the middle of these thoughts, my time arrived. Elder Skaggs was about to see his family. I prepared, not ready for what was about to happen, not knowing what life would throw my way. I was about to embark into a whole other journey. Hoping for the best in my future, I trotted down the stairs into my mothers arms. The tears streamed, the crowd cheered and clapped. I looked around and saw all the elders I would miss and I created so many memories with them. However, I had to say goodbye and hurry on my way

We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory, said goodbye to my siblings, headed to the hotel and then went to sleep. We woke up in the morning and flew home. Got back to Temecula and I got released. I was finally not a missionary. It was a bittersweet moment. I immediately missed my mission. I missed the good vibes, feeling the spirit 24/7, missed the elders, my responsibilities, my district members, I missed everyone and everything. I missed Salt Lake. But, I was supposed to look to the future. I needed to look forward for the good that was supposed to happen.

When I arrived home, I had everything planned out. In two months, I would be in Rexburg, studying elementary education. Meeting new people, having in person class, and continuing to have fun. In five months, who knew? Maybe, I'd be on vacation with my family in Florida. But, in one year, February 25, 2021, I expected to be in Idaho. I expected to have a job, be living in Rexburg, hiking, tubing, playing in the snow, and having fun. I knew exactly what I was gonna do. NOTHING WAS GOING TO STOP IT. I was unstoppable. And surely nothing could stop it. Nothing at all. 

But, before we knew it, life was turned upside down. It changed. And nothing was the same... 

My new experiment - no electronic devices

 No Apple Watch, no laptop, no television, no iPhone... what is this 1824? No, it's 2020 and my new experiment.

This past week without social media has shown me that I don't need social media. I've become less focused on it and focused on other things. When I get bored, I've found other things to occupy my mind than social media. Well, it's mainly been watching Disney+. This week has been a great week and really helped me grow a lot. So, it got me thinking, what can I do next? What can I do to improve myself and grow? What else can I do to possibly inspire others? Or to make others do the complete opposite thing? And it came to me...

No electronic devices. I've decided to go without a phone, laptop, Apple Watch, and television for ONE WEEK. I've purchased an alarm clock and battery powered watch to keep track of time. 

This experiment is a hard one. I've gone without social media before, for two years. However, there has never gone a day where I haven't gone without electronic devices. You can possibly count the time I went to Peru, but I wouldn't count that. That wasn't necessarily a voluntary action. I guess going on the trip was voluntary, but I had to give up my electronic devices. This will be the first time I am living my full life, but giving up electronics. 

Before I move onto what I hope to accomplish from this, I will put a disclaimer that I won't be 100% away from electronic devices. The exception is using the computer at Taco Bell, but that is basically for taking orders, so it doesn't really count.

What do I hope to accomplish from this?

I hope to have a better appreciation for technology when I am finished. I want to be able to recognize the power behind technology and how much it is needed in my life. 

In addition to having a better appreciation, I also hope to recognize how much control technology has over my life. We rely so much on technology, we don't ever take time away from it and to appreciate other parts of life. So, although I hope to learn how I need it so much, I also hope to learn how I don't need it. 

Another goal of my mine is to focus more time on reading, including my scripture study. I haven't been very good with my scripture study and I want to focus more on it. I hope that I'll have more time to focus my mind on important things instead of just watching tv and playing games. 

I understand this may be a struggle to comprehend because I'll be away from text messages and emails, things that are necessary, but I think it'll help me. There is nothing super important that I'll need from my emails or text messages. In fact, maybe I'll appreciate that even more.

In the end, this may end up being a giant struggle and I may not even survive it, but it never hurts to try. It never hurts to challenge myself and push myself to my limits. 

I plan on getting off tonight and staying off until next Monday. I will update you guys on what I learned next week. And depending on how I feel, I may even get back onto social media for a quick day too. It all depends on how I feel. 

Until then, I am signing off and I'll talk to all of you next week.

-Michael Skaggs

Unexpected Blessings: My "failed" birthday trip to Rexburg

Turning 22 seemed like a perfect time. I expected it to go as planned and I had everything set and ready to go. My weekend was supposed to be the best birthday ever and be the best weekend ever. I had everything planned minute by minute. I looked forward to everything. I was going to see old friends and visit old places. It would be a weekend to remember. A weekend that I would never forget. But... that's not how the weekend went.

My trip started off with my flight taking off at 6:45 in the morning. I was extremely tired, but I woke up anyway. Arrived and immediately took a Lyft ride to the car rental place. I had the nicest driver ever and we enjoyed a little trip to the place. They gave me a great car, although, I didn't like the gas mileage. 

The plan originally called for me going and spending the whole entire afternoon in Provo and seeing a couple people, but days leading up to the day, it got changed. I visited with an old mission companion and then my friend Bri. I hadn't seen her in 2 and a half years and it was a joy to see her. 

Instead of spending the day in Provo, I decided to go up and visit a family friend in Heber. Sister Eisenhut is like a second mother to me. I got to visit with her and then visit the farm they have and see her horses. It was a beautiful afternoon visiting with her. It was an unexpected blessing to see her again and talk to her.

From there, I took the dreaded drive up to Rexburg. I know the Lord was looking out for me because I almost fell asleep multiple times, but I made sure to pull over and take breaks about 4 times. I did not want to put my life or the life of others at risk.

Arriving into Rexburg felt amazing. I couldn't believe I was finally home. Rexburg has become one of my favorite places ever. I crashed with one of my mission buddies and together we decided to go visit another mission buddy. That was an unexpected blessing because this former elder has one of the kindest souls, brightest smiles, happiest personalities, and strongest testimonies of anyone I've ever known. 

Friday morning, I visited a former assistant and then went to Bear World. Now this may sound like a silly unexpected blessing, but I had the opportunity to feed the baby cubs. The reservation was supposed to be full, but they always allow walk ups and I had the opportunity to feed a baby cub for my birthday. I also saw an old friend who was visiting with her daughter and parents. 

Everything that happened on Friday was unexpected. My original plan, once again, called for me to go down to Pocatello with a friend and eat at Red Lobster. However, I got a text the day before explaining that she had a last minute request from work to go to Montana. I can't hold it against her. My Friday may not have gone as planned, but it was still a blessing. 

The rest of my Friday consisted of Red Robin, WinCo, visiting old roommates, visiting a friend I hadn't seen in 3 1/2 years, and seeing a movie.

Saturday became the biggest unexpected blessing of the whole weekend. I originally planned to go hiking in the Tetons with a couple friends, but we planned together that we should do something else. Instead, I decided to go to her roommates house and help her family prepare for a wedding luncheon they were hosting. I ended up spending 5 hours at their house, getting to know them. They were the kindest people and I enjoyed my time with them. Towards the end, I learned that they knew my dad and grew up with him. It was the start of a bright new friendship. I was happy to spend time with them and get to know them. Making new friends turned out to be a blessing.

I spent the evening visiting another friend I hadn't seen in four years. Went to dinner with my sister, saw some old mission friends, went to the straw maze, and then saw my mission father. In the end, it was a blessed day.

My birthday turned out to be phenomenal. It didn't go as planned, but I loved it. I went to visit with a good friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a couple years. We also went to sacrament together. After sacrament, I raced back home to get ready to see a friend I hadn't seen in two years. 

This friend has always been a great influence on me. A friend that I can always go to and talk to. Although, we didn't start off on the right foot, we have turned into amazing friends. We went hiking down to Cress Creek together and then went to Mesa Falls. At this time, I was enjoying my birthday. Well, of course I was. I was hanging out with one of my greatest friends, I was spending time in nature and I was 22. However, things sort of changed.

I had planned on spending a few hours with some other friends later on that evening. On my way back, they called me and asked to go hiking. I had to decline because I still had plans to hang out with the family I met and I didn't want to just ditch my other friend. I will be honest, I know this wasn't their intention, but I felt betrayed. I know they invited me, but I didn't know how long they would be gone. I didn't know if I would still be able to hang out with them. I didn't know if they would have any time for me. I didn't expect them to cater to me, but I had been looking forward to hanging out with them for such a long time. I was ecstatic to see them and it was somewhat disappointing to miss out on hanging out with them.

I persevered though. I continued on. I picked up my sister and we went to the house of the family I met the day before. It was funny. When my friends called, I told them I was going to their roommates house. Their reply, "well, so and so won't be there." 

Me: I know, but their parents want me to come over. 

I found it hilarious though because I wasn't going over for their roommates, I was going over for the family. I had a great evening with the family. It was another unexpected blessing because I went from having a rough evening to enjoying the time spent with people who I now considered family. I also forgot to mention that I was driving down the road when I saw an old mission zone leader from Vegas. I quickly stopped and turned around to quickly talk to him. Once again, an unexpected blessing.

Later that evening, I still got to visit with those friends. And it turns out, it wasn't for nothing. They ended up throwing a small birthday party for me. It really wasn't a birthday party, but more like just a few of their friends and then them. Their friends were over so they decided to sing happy birthday to me since they were there. The unexpected blessing of friends who truly care.

Monday morning, I got to spend a little bit of time saying goodbye to my friend and catch up a little bit. We did a little bit of scripture study together and I met her sister. 

The rest of Monday was amazing. I met up with another old mission companion. Then I got to visit my mission. Visiting my old mission was an expected blessing because I knew that was going to happen and it truly was a blessing to see it. Things had changed a lot, but I enjoyed seeing the place where I spent 2 years serving God. I was with an old mission buddy that whole entire time and we were able to catch up. We finished our evening by having dinner with our mission president. It truly was a blessing to see him and visit with him. My mission president was the greatest blessing of my mission.

The trip came to a quick end and I wasn't ready to leave Utah and Idaho. However, I had to go home and return to life. I had to return to work and everything else. But, as you can see my birthday weekend didn't go as planned. In fact, I don't think anything went as planned except for like two or three things. Most of it was changed last minute and didn't go the way I wanted it to go. But, as you can see, every plan that was changed, led to an unexpected blessing. These unexpected blessings were filled with hope and love and joy. It created memories I will never forget and I will always be appreciative of them. 

This "failed" birthday trip taught me to always look for the blessings in the smallest of things. I was reminded that Heavenly Father is always looking out for us and putting people in our lives that we are meant to know. God loves us and wants us to succeed. So, I guess you can say it wasn't a failed birthday trip. It was a successful birthday trip with just a ton of obstacles. I wouldn't change the weekend for anything. I will always cherish my 22nd birthday.

The new family I met (The Waldron's)

Drew Whiffen, a former assistant.

Sister Eisenhut, a second mother to me.

Feeding the bear cubs